The Excessive Horizontalist (A poem about living with CFS / M.E.)
I’ve become vexed with lying down, it’s not what I’d choose to do
I’d like to run a marathon or dance all day in Honolulu.
I often dream my life’s a scene from some action packed movie
But I’m catatonic counting stripes upon my patterned duvet.
Fatigue? Fatigue? It’s not Fatigue! It’s lead inside my limbs!
With muscles aching night and day, a severe condition, grim.
I’d like to travel round the world: Sydney? Paris? Budapest?
But I’m trapped in this Inertia, an excessive horizontalist.
So, you think I’m looking well?
Thank you, but in return I’ll say.
My brain and nervous system are not usually on display.
Your uninformed speculation I have to reprimand.
As unless your own blood turns to glue you’ll never understand.
My bedroom ceiling is not quite appealing, as the one in the Sistine chapel
So with the passing of days, I hope with this malaise
I will no longer grapple.
Michael Rattray is a Scottish composer, singer and artist based in Perth in Scotland. His current album “Human life” is available now. He has played with Belle and Sebastian, Idlewild, The Vaselines, Sam Brown and Edwyn Collins. He is also an artist who has exhibited at Glasgow Gallery of Modern Art and Perth Museum amongst others.